All of me
by Ms. Mimi Elphie-Amy
Summary: After one of Mimi and Roger's fights, Mimi goes to the one thing that shouldn't have ever been touched...songifc 'My immortal' by Evanescence. Angsty and depressing. You've been warned.


**This was born out of my boredom and listening to **_**Evanescence**_**. Here's my first songfic. Enjoy. If you don't, no flaming please. If you do like it...that little green button that says Review at the bottom of the page is always there when you want to review.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own RENT, nor 'My Immortal'**_

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears_

I stare after him as he leaves my apartment, slamming the door in his wake. We just had one of our infamous fights. Why we still fight I'll never know. We're not Joanne and Maureen are we?

We fought about my workplace. He hates that I still work there. _Hates_ it. And he doesn't understand why I still go there. Well, he's going to have to wait for an answer since cuz even _I_ don't know.

_Dios_, I'm so tired of our fighting. It's killing me.

_And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

He keeps talking about leaving again. Well, more like threatening it. The worst part about it is that sometimes I want him to leave. I wanna yell, "Then leave Godammit!"

I really don't want him to leave.

But he keeps threatening it, and this time think he meant it. I think he's really leaving this time. Tears start to fall down my cheeks, and I find myself in a fatal position on the floor.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Roger doesn't know the pain he's causing me when he threatens to leave me forever. He doesn't know how his anger scares me half to death. I don't know why, but every time he yells, I shake. As if preparing for a blow of some kind.

But he would never hit me. Not my Roger.

No, but he beats me with his words. He beats me until my mind can't take it anymore, and then just keeps going.

How much more will I be able to take?

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years_

I don't hurt him...I love him and help him whenever I can. Sure, I've been unfaithful, but that was just the drugs and the anger of his constant hawk-like watch over me.

But now all he does is argue with me.

_But you still have  
All of me_

Doesn't he get that I don't even talk to Benny anymore?

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

He's changed. He's not the guy that astounded me with his strength, or the man that I just want to kiss because he's such a romantic, loving guy. He's now the guy that stays out until 1 at night with his new band, and comes home drunk. He's the guy that doesn't put love in his kisses.

He's not the Roger I used to know.

_Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

I get up, and walk over to the bathroom. I can't take it. All that I see in Roger now is a man I don't love. I need to get away...I spy my shaver.

No, I can't...not like April. I couldn't do that to Roger...

But I find myself walking over anyway.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Razor's in my hand.

_Slash...slash...slash...slash..._

Blood dripping on the floor. A grim smile comes to my lips. This feels...like a release. A nice release. I know why April did it now. It's better than drugs really.

_Slash...slash...slash...slash..._

My whole arm is filled with slashes.

_Ha ha Roger. _

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years_

Roger, I'm sort of sorry. I mean, I know how much this'll hurt you. I know how much my death will _kill_ you-

Wait; was that a knock on the door? No, no, no...You're not supposed to come in! Roger! Go, leave now, find me later!!

"Mimi?"

_Shit_

I try to talk back, but I find I have no voice. In fact, all the lights are getting brighter in here...

"Mimi? Please answer me, babe."

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

So, now that I'm _dying_, Roger finally sees the errors of his ways?

_Come on!!_

Fate sure has a sense of humour.

"Meems? Baby?"

Whoa, why am I on the floor? I didn't even..._Thump, thump, thump..._He's near the bathroom door now. Man, I made noise. Shit shit shit.

"Meems? Please come out. I'm not angry, I just wanna talk babe. At least open up. "

I try to tell him to go away, but all I can get out of my mouth is a whimper. A small, scared whimper. "Meems? You okay?" _Dios_ don't tell me he heard that too!

Oh God, please don't let him find me! He'll get angry at me...he'll hit me! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nononononononononononononono-

"Meems? You're scaring me, open up."

_¡Dios, no lo deja por favor encontrarme! No lo deje por favor encontrarme__no lo deje por favor encontrarme__no lo deje por favor encontrarme__no lo deje por favor encontrarme...__no no no no..._

A knock on the door

He knows I'm here...

"Meems, I'm coming in."

Panic, panic is in his voice.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years_

Please, Roger, leave me in peace.

The door's opening

"Mimi!"

A gasp of horror

Well, you better be sorry bitch. You're the one who got me like this. You son of a-

No no no, I'm not like this. I love Roger... I love Roger I love Roger I love Roger I love Roger

I do love him

_What am I doing?_

Why am I dying?

No no no! I don't want to die. I want to live! For Roger, for me, for Angel...

But even as I think this, the light around me is dimming. Roger is talking, but I don't hear a word. But I see his face, his sad sad face. His tears are falling on me. I feel his fingertips at my wrist. I feel pressure on my arms...

Ow, stop hurting me Roger.

Please, let go of my arm Roger. Please don't hit me. Don't get angry at me. Don't hurt me don't hurt me

Suddenly all I see is Roger's face. His saying something...I have to strain to hear it...I _want_ to hear it...

"Don't die Meems, please live baby. Please, I need you Meems. I love you, Mimi Marquez. Don't die. I take all my threats back baby. I'd never leave you...Stay baby, stay. I love you, I love you..."

He loves me...He loves me!

Angel chica, you can't have me. Not yet. Be merciful Angel...be merciful...

Suddenly, everything goes dark.

* * *

I wake up with a start,

And a horrible pain on my arm. Ouch...wait, I'm _awake_! I'm not dead. Angel isn't beside me, and I'm not surrounded by a warm white light. I'm human, in this world, wrapped up in my favourite blanket.

Roger's sleeping beside me. I look at my arm, and notice its wrap is full of blood. But it's dry. I smile

Angel was merciful.

I look over to Roger. He saved me as well. My Roger...my love.

He'll always love me and I know that now.

_But you still have  
All of me_


End file.
